What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize