dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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