OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I smell stomach acid.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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