Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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