it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
