I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize