So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
