somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
