is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
