how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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