Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry FLlaw hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(516): View more from New York

theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.

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(360): View more from Washington

Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?

(903): View more from Texas

Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...

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(281): View more from Texas

I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"

(978): View more from Massachusetts

or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"

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(925): View more from California

I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.

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(618): View more from Illinois

How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT

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