Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
