I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
