So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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