i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize