he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
