AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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