when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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