brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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