that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
