glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
