You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
