smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
