God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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