So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize