Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
