How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
