Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
