Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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