I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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