Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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