I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
