Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
