A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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