shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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