The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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