yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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