2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
