I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
