i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Randomize
