I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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