Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no you cant smoke seaweed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
