finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
