Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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