4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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