don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
