the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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