If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
