It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
