How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
MIDGETS
????
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
