she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
