every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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