I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize
