Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
