You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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