Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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