I just cut my nipple shaving
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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