you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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