ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
