I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
